Monday, October 27, 2008

Kevin & Pat Make A Stinky

Like something out of an SNL skit, Vikings D-tackles Kevin and Pat Williams apparently tested positive for a banned diuretic. As a result, they could each face four-game suspensions and lot of caricature drawings.

On one hand, I feel bad for these guys. Can you imagine the lengths taken to procure illegal diuretics? I can’t help but envision the two them renting a conversion van over the summer and driving undercover to Tijuana on a mission for the kind of bazooka-pooping Colon Blow deemed too extreme for America’s retailers. They probably tested a few out before settling on the Turbo Lax from Dumb & Dumber.

In my opinion, this whole story is misleading. I believe the Williams’s are simply health-conscious athletes who weren’t just worried about weight issues, they were trying to keep their blood pressure down. Little did they know they could’ve achieved the same effect with Hot Pockets and Sunny D.

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