Friday, December 26, 2008

Bruce Ineffectual

In 1976, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Seattle Seahawks joined the NFL as expansion teams in the AFC West. The Seahawks managed 2 wins that season. The Bucs, led by Steve Spurrier at QB, went without a single win and finished 0-14. To date, they are the NFL team to experience a winless season.

That meant that “Bruce Bucco,” the name given to original Buccaneers logo shown to the left, never really had a chance. If the Bucs had gone 14-0, ol' Bruce would look a lot different. More like a Pirate superhero instead of an extra from the musical “Yaaar! The Pirates Who Prance A Lot.” No, with his Errol Flynn sass and Pixie Stick orange, Bruce has always reeked of futility and shame. If you look long enough, you can almost hear him say, “They made me wear this earring and bite this letter opener, but the wink – that was my idea.”

But unlike the expansion Bucs of 1976, the Detroit Lions have been around since 1930. You’d think that an organization with 78 years of experience would be operating like a badass Ford F-150, not a Ford POS. At 15 losses, the Lions have already surpassed the Bucs and on Sunday at Lambeau, they have a chance to make history by losing their 16th. If that happens, they will earn the title of “The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked.”

With my season Packer predictions at 5-10 (shocking), I won’t go so far as to say the Packers will win this one. I’ll only go so far as to say we’ll put up 23 points. If the Lions can top that, it could prove a capstone to the 2008 season of tough losses for the Packers as well.

3 comments:

  1. Packers 27
    Lions 20

    that is all for now ... I just got the WOW Prince of Darkness expansion pack for christmas and I don't have much time to rant. Give me another day and I will have defeated him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope for your sake you are correct. WOW4LIFE.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You'll have plenty of time for that after 3:30 today. That's when the NFL season ends.

    ReplyDelete

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