Real or Rug?

Dom Capers – you’re suspect.

Please forgive me that my first story about our new defensive coordinator is not about his new 3-4 scheme or his veteran coaching experience… and all about his hair.

Anyone who knows me well knows I believe the real measure of a man lies more on what he sports on his dome than anywhere else. I’m an equal opportunist, too, whether you’re the legendary John Stamos or the great Mr. Clean. My motto basically goes something like: If you got it, rock it. If it ain’t growin’, own it.

So what am I to make of this Dom Capers picture? Upon first glance, it looks as though his hair was trapped and killed, marinated in Quaker State and combed with a Sharpie. Sure, there’s a little natural salt and pepper near the ears for character, but for the most part it views like an Ed Wood movie – in between ridiculous and embarrassing.

Personally, I look forward to being bald. It’s distinguished, easy to take care of and chicks love it. In the meantime, I happen to be blessed with kind of a blond Wolverine thing, and I make the most of it. One look and people recognize that I don’t mess around with O’Douls or hybrids. Bad hair is often a sign of weakness. There’s a reason Dom Capers has moved around so much and that reason, my friends, could be found in his hair.