Friday, September 25, 2009

The Alert Level is Green and Gold

Packer fans, there is an enemy on the horizon far greater than any you have ever seen. This man is not a member of the Rams and most definitely not Adrian Peterson. Nay, this man is more dangerous than the evil love-child of Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, Norman Bates, Keyser Soze, and Gozer the Gozerian, (the Goze is freaky like that). This man is not a member of the Axis of Evil and probably isn’t a member of Al Queda…I say probably because I can’t be sure, and even if I was, I’m not authorized to share that information with you, need to know basis and all that. He may not be on the FBI’s most wanted list, but he has made Wisconsin's persona non grata list in my book. And, you all know how important my lists are.

This dastardly human, who may or may not be a mixed-breed Bears/Vikings combo fan, is Charlie Radtke, owner of Phoenix Marketing Group of Milwaukee. My motto has always been never trust someone in marketing and that seems to hold true…once again. You see, Charlie Radtke has plans to change the Green Bay Packer logo into some gross, bastard-child logo that includes a “B” presumably from "Bay", but it could signify "bastard," no one knows. Combining these letters into a new logo would be comparable to combining Nickelback, Creed, John Mayer, The Jonas Brothers, and the Eagles into a supergroup for a Christmas Album. Just imagining that made me decide not the celebrate Christmas this year….and I LOVE presents.

Lucky for us, no one really cared, that is until something called Jim Stingl returned his call and gave a level of credence to this whack-job, although I’m not sure what level of credence the Opinion section of the Journal Sentinel really gives anyone (I'm actually probably giving it more by writing about it here at The Ranter). Radtke claims he doesn’t “want to see torches and pitchforks, angry villagers”. Well, Charlie, there’s an easy fix to that, shut your mouth, delete/burn/bury your designs, and disappear for awhile.

On a positive note, the designs are so awful that a drunk eight year-old could have done them with an Apple IIe, so I think we are safe from any uniform changes in the near future. However, people like Charlie are dangerous in that they can work in secret, behind the scenes and suddenly there is an ugly “G-B” on the helmet of Cullen Jenkins. You think I’m paranoid? Ha! Ron Wolf thought about changing the uniforms (then came to his senses). Also, I must remind you: never underestimate the power of the vocal minority…Prohibition and the Patriot Act are prime examples.

Please practice constant vigilance, Packer fans. Constant vigilance.

3 comments:

  1. That scares me. Remember the Marquette GOLD anyone?? How 'bout the Milwaukee Admirals logo change?? Fricken marketing. Simpler is better - how many brands can stake claim to a single letter of the alphabet? The "G" stands for Greatness. Why water than down with an extra "B"? Idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Never.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very enlightening and beneficial to someone whose been out of the circuit for a long time.

    - Kris

    ReplyDelete

Google requires us to state we use third-party advertising, who may use information (not including your name, address, email, or phone) about your visits to provide ads of possible interest. For more information or to opt out, click here.
To contact us or to advertise, email packerranter {at} yahoo.com