Monday, September 21, 2009

Mother Untucker

The prestigious Men’s Underwear Fitting Guide tells us that if your undershirt keeps untucking from your pants, “you probably need a smaller size undershirt.” This is supposedly because the armhole depth of an undershirt too big will cause the side seam of the shirt hem to come up when you reach up. In fact, MUFG believes an undershirt should be at least 3" longer than the top of your pants. I don’t really understand this to be honest.

I don't think Johnny Jolly reads or understand MUFG either, because every game I’ve ever seen him play, his big ol’ XXXL jersey is untucked and open for business. This always struck me as unusual since everyone elses’ jerseys stay securely tucked throughout the game, so I watched Jolly closely the last two weeks. Sure enough, his jersey doesn’t become untucked during the course of the game; like clockwork, he pulls it out of his pants (no, not that) after the first defensive play.

I’ve always been an untucker myself. It’s faster, more comfortable and I have to agree with Gardenfoot when he says, “untucking your shirt means you live by your own rules.” Jolly is the same way. Sure, Rodgers, Jennings and Woodson normally come to mind when you think of “cool” Packers, but you know what? Their shirts are always tucked in. ALWAYS! With his untucked shirt, Johnny Jolly proves he is ultimate rebel in an otherwise highly controlled enterprise. He not only shows he’s the coolest guy on the Packers, but that he just might be the James Dean of the NFL.

And there’s more. Football has become so popular it has transcended the world of fashion and even common-sense style. Somehow along the way, it has become acceptable for grown men listed at 6’3, 320 lbs. to wear tight-fitting, tucked-in mandex outfits. In today’s world of 50+ inch HD televisions, that can get pretty disgusting. Johnny Jolly reminds us that’s not cool, and that sometimes living by your own rules does everyone some good.


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