Friday, September 4, 2009

The Perfect Tailgate

To kick off the season, Franklin and I have put together our top 5 tips to help everyone's Lambeau tailgating adventures reach their full potential. We have a combined 50 years experience at over 350 Packer games, so you know our advice is a good as the award-winning sausage from Louie's.

Franklin suggests Tunes. Or some kind of audio system. Be it the sweet system in your customized minivan or a boombox with only a cassette option, some kind of music is essential. You’ll need plenty of AC/DC and two musts are Robert Brooks' Jump in the Stands as well as the Packerena.

Robert suggests a Football. No matter what Packer you’re trying to emulate, whipping a pigskin can really bring out the best in a parking lot party. Because there’s cars, bottles, burning grills, drunkards (perhaps you’re one of them), and a million other obstacles, it requires both skill and general knuckleheadedness. Nothing will provide the same levels of exhirliration, comradery and manhood you’re looking for quite like throwing the football.

Franklin suggests Beef Jerky. You need something to gnaw on while sitting in traffic. Nuff said.

Robert suggests the 20% Rule. Whenever you think you’ve finished packing all your food and booze, add another 20%. Here’s why: You never know when you’ll meet some cool fans you’d be willing to share some Leinies and curds with, or maybe a couple of hot chicks up from Madison really dig your style and want to party. Plus, that leftover braunschweiger and kraut after the game can make that Packer win taste even more satisfying.

Franklin suggests Beer from Wisconsin. Get a wide variety of choices, all the way from Miller down to Lake Mills’ Tyranena, Pabst, Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee's Best, Point, and New Glarus. Having any sort of imported beer (in this case, "imported" refers to beer brewed outside of WI state lines) is an insult and should draw derision and scorn from your fellow Packer fans. It may even prove you are a closet Viking fan, you poser. LEAVE THE PARKING LOT AND TAKE YOUR GRAIN BELT WITH YOU!

8 comments:

  1. All you speak is the truth! May the rant be with you!

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  2. Almost as important, but not nearly as fun: $20 for parking.

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  3. I think this is another area the 20% rule comes into play. What GB parking lot attendant wouldn't accept a 1/2 bag of curds and a sixer for a free parking pass?

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  4. Only a close Bears fan...say it with me, the Bears still suck!

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  5. Only WI beer? Not even a Hoegaarden or an Erdinger Weißbräu? That's plain discrimination agains great beers.

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  6. I will be having my first "real" tailgate party next week in GB. Thanks for the advice!

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  7. When it comes to tailgating at Lambeau, discrimination is definitely in order. Wait. I mean, Wisconsin culture comes first! Yeah!

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  8. One should not judge a man by it's beer choice... Only by his team choice. Well, except if he chooses Budweiser. Go Pack Go!

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