Friday, January 15, 2010

Views from the Hillside.

Here you go Ranter fans, my season-ending Views from the Hillside. You may not want, but...you've got it. When you're as meat drunk on red meat as I am, your mind can't think longer than bullet points.
  • Each year after the season is over, I go to the store, buy a big fat steak, grill it while drinking PBR tallboys, and then work my way through it. By the time I’m done savoring each morsel, I’ve come to grips with the end of Packer football for another year. If I feel like haven’t completely reconciled my feelings and let go, I do the same thing the following evening….I’ve had four steaks this week, and it seems like a fifth is on the menu for tonight (hence, the meat drunkeness). Man, this is getting expensive.
  • I will not be in Minneapolis this weekend which is fantastic because the smell emanating from the Metrodome would probably kill me. Jerry Jones, Tony Romo, Brent, and Jared Allen are all in the same place at the same time? The EPA should declare a preemptive toxic spill now and just hope they can stop the overflow from polluting the Mississippi more than it all ready is.
  • Two of Greg Jennings receptions on Sunday were absolutely insane…and I don’t think either involved a push-off.
  • I’ve been told to quit complaining about the refs more than once this week, and you know what? I’m not going to do it. Do I really, truly believe they were the reason we lost the game? Of course not, but they didn’t help, and if I want to bitch about it, I can. There’s only one reason for it: it’s CATHARTIC. Plain and simple. Some people blame Mike McCarthy, some blame Mason Crosby, some blame Robert (he even blames himself), some blame Jarrett Bush, but in the end it all achieves the same purpose: it helps you feel better about losing the game and the season being over.
  • The refs stunk…HA! Maybe I don’t need another porterhouse tonight.
  • It’s a long offseason but 88+12+85+21+52+25+77=Optimism
  • I don’t know if you pray, meditate, worship wood nymphs, or believe in nussing, and I don’t care; but keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts, and give something if you can spare it. It’s the right thing to do.
  • I’ll step off my soapbox now…
  • My one goal in 2010 has nothing to do with the Packers, work, or my personal life. Prior to the kickoff of the 2010 season, I plan to find out why Fox uses the robot. I know people who have never watched football in their lives who have walked into a room, looked at the TV, and said, “What’s that robot doing, and what does it have to do with this football-thing you’re watching?” Then it makes ME look stupid trying to explain it, when the whole problem actually is: THE ROBOT IS STUPID! And just an fyi: that robot is making you stupid, and I think you have the right to at least know why it exists before you end up like this.
  • Bring on the draft…what's the date today? {sigh}

3 comments:

  1. Nice link (push-off). I'm not sure the refs would have flaged Fitz if he had nelt on Woodson's chest and gouged his eyes. Subltelty my ass!
    Man, that does feel better. Any Vikings fans who tell you to stop complaining can suck it. Make sure to refer to your crotch with both hands when telling them so. I love that the article goes on to site Chris Carter as the Budda of Cheating; L. Fitz's guide and teacher. How fitting.

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  2. As big of a nerd and robot lover I am ... the fox robot must be destroyed. Glaaavin!

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