Monday, February 1, 2010

With the 23rd Pick...

I was told at an early age that if you don’t toot your own horn, no one else will. So here I go. I read Don Banks’ first mock draft last week, and I was pleasantly surprised by his excellent choice for the Packers at #23. He went with Maryland junior offensive tackle, Bruce Campbell. Here’s my toot. I liked this pick a couple weeks before Banks did. Ha! …and most of you think I don’t know what I am talking about.

That’s about the entire extent of similarity in our pick; mainly, that we agree it should be Campbell. Banks offers up legitimate football reasoning mostly that he is a hulking, man-beast. My rationale for this pick is purely selfish. I’ve never seen Campbell play, I don’t know if he’s ever going to be a great left tackle for the Packers, but I do know his selection by the Packers will make gamedays even more enjoyable. I know you’re thinking: not possible, gamedays are like beer, the only way they can get better is to have more of them, and the Packers won’t play 16 times a week. Well, hold on and let me explain. You see, whenever I hear the name Bruce Campbell, I can’t help but think about shopping smart, shopping S-Mart. (If that doesn’t ring the awesome-gong in your melon, go buy this and come back.)

The fact is this could be your gameday:

Campbell gets called for illegal hands to the face: “It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist.”

Campbell lines up across from Jared Allen: “Yo, she-bitch! Let’s go!”

Campbell and Rodgers in the huddle:
C: “34 Clatto Verata Nicto veer option”
R: “Well, repeat them.
C: “34 Clatto Verata Nicto veer option”
R: “Again.”
C: “I got it, I got it! I know your damn plays, alright?”

Campell staring at the Bears’ defense: “Now I swear the next one of you primates even touches me…”

Campbell recovers a fumble: “Got you, didn’t I? You little sucker.”

Campbell pancakes a D-end and stands above him: “Hail to the king, baby.”

Campbell shakes hands at the coin toss: “Name’s Ash. Housewares.”

Colledge misses a block and James Campen screams at Campbell and Colledge:
DC: “My bad.”
BC: “Good. Bad. I’m the one with the guns.” {flexes both massive arms}

Seriously, I could go on all day, but the point is having Campbell at left tackle would lead to your Sunday afternoon being filled with grooovy quotes like these. The question you must ask yourself is would you rather listen to Ash…or Joe Buck?

I thought so. Give me some sugar, baby

1 comment:

  1. Hail He, who has come from the sky to deliver us from the Deadites!

    Drop the Oldsmobile and lets sign him up already

    ReplyDelete

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