Last season, I had the privilege of introducing a not-too-shabby sheila from Shiocton to the game of football. She came from a family of huge NASCAR fans and had always watched the NFL/Packers with little more than a casual interest.
However, she was more than willing to listen to me explain the rules and nuances of the game over a few Leinies one MNF. Of course I started from the very beginning (a very good place to start). Soon, she was firing zingers left and right. They were the kind of zingers that can keep a man up at night, lost in thought, frustration and sometimes revelation.
She asked me, “Why is it called football? I’ve always wondered that. I mean, if you think about it, they use their hands way more than their feet. It should really be called handball.” Wow. That was a really really good point. I honestly had never thought about that before. “It’s tradition,” I responded firmly, trying my best to sound like I knew what I was talking about.
Later, as I was outlining special teams coverage, she pointed out that the punter was different from the field goal kicker. “So there’s two guys on the team and all they do is kick the ball? That’s kind of weird. Why can’t just one guy do both?” she asked. “No, no, no.” I scoffed. “They’re specialists. Trained for a specific job, you see. It’s complicated.” “Whatever, that’s dumb,” she replied.
But as I laughed her “ridiculous” question, a shiny revelation came to light – she was absolutely right. Why can’t one guy handle all the kicking duties? Simply combine the kicker and punter positions into one: the Kinter. why hasn’t this been thought of before? It’s probably the most logical evolution since Red Bull/Vodka.
Seriously, if you’re a kicking specialist; as in all you do is kick footballs, what’s the problem? You’ve obviously got the leg strength and have proven you can place your foot where you want on the ball. It’s still special teams. For adding just one natural extension of your abilities, you could make yourself that much more valuable to your team. Hell, you’d probably get paid twice as much! You’d open a roster spot. And best of all, you’d be an innovator; the guy who finally stood up and said, “Wait a minute. I’m pretty sure this is dumb. Yep, this is stupid.”
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