Friday, April 2, 2010

Don't Be Hasty

Two wise men once said, "What an absolutely beautiful day. Warm sun, beautiful women..." "and the air is just right for drinking."

Not only is the air just right for drinking, it's also just right for prepping your yard for the summer. The unseasonably warm weather is most welcome, and it allows for a everyone to get a jump-start on their raking, pruning, planting, and general mucking about in their yards. I tend to maintain a modest yard with a classic landscaping look. In other words, I stay away from the sculptures, the Trans Am up on blocks, and the fountains. However, I was feeling a little bolder this year, and thought I would show off my Packer pride. Living in Minnesota, my only logical move was to visit the Packers Pro Shop.

I've never really found a Packer product that I didn't like (Other than last year's special teams. Boom!), but then I found this. My only reaction: Is this a joke? Look, I get being tacky ironically; I love Zubaz, but this is absurd.

"Add some character to your trees!" Ummm... it's a tree, it has character because it's a tree. Adding a pedophile face to it is not giving it character, it's torturing it. The last time someone tortured a tree like this, he got his ass kicked by Treebeard and the rest of Fangorn Forest. Not only does it looking like a peeping Tom, it looks like a peeping Tom with terrible taste in headwear. Would you like to wake up in the morning and have this tree-man staring you in the face while you sip your coffee? Me neither.

Do yourself a favor and get this little guy. "Sure to be a conversation starter..." Conversation starter, indeed.

"Hey, that's a Packer gnome."
"You want another beer?"

On second thought, maybe I'll just plant a shrub.


  1. If a Packer gnome wears Zubaz in the forest, does he make a sound?

    I guess you'd have to ask Treebeard.

  2. I think the Forest Face would be ideal on your front door with a sign that reads, "Solicitors Welcome! I am quite lonely. I have beers."

  3. Do you think that pedophile tree has wood?

  4. Put the peeping Tom face in the treebeard, position the shrub and the little guy in front, and you got yourself a dance. Actually, that's not a dance at all...
    BTW, now THAT's a rant.

  5. Tracy White Fact of the day: That tree has nothing on Tracy... Booom!

  6. Ha! My father owns both the tree face and the gnome.


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