I’d like to take this time to submit some questions I have (I guess I don’t know everything) that I am flat-out positive other die-hard Packer fans have too.
- How does Lambeau Field and the surrounding environs not implode under the sheer magnitude of its own awesomeness? (This would likely need a physicist to answer, but I’m sure Stephen Hawking is a Packer fan, he’s a pretty smart guy.)
- I was unable to find a pair of green and gold, corduroy slacks at the Packers Pro Shop. Are they on back order? How do I get on the waiting list?
- How the hell did the greatest special teams player in the history of mankind get released? (You know who)
- How many Leinie’s are sold during each game at Lambeau Field? Brats?
- When I die, can my ashes be spread on the Visitors’ sideline, so I can feel the fear and sense of futility permeating the Packers opponents for all of eternity?
- What is the status of my job application?
- Bill Miller’s title for the Packers is Plumber/Beverage Systems Technician…ummm…WHAT?!?!
- I have a good friend who has his single-engine pilot’s license, how do we apply to be an aircraft involved in a pre-game flyover?
- On more than a few occasions, I have seen opposing fans at Lambeau during the games. While I am more than willing to let these misguided individuals study the greatness of the Packers at the Packers Hall of Fame, is there a way to step up security so that these asshats aren’t allowed inside the hallowed halls of Lambeau?