Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I'm On the Case
49ers: You’d be mad too if you had Alex Smith instead of Aaron Rodgers.
Cowboys: Jerry Jones has his dumbeningly (good word, no?) large stadium, but he still realizes that it doesn’t hold a candle to Lambeau.
Vikings: Their stadium dreams are kaput. Plus, Favre, well-know gun lover, hates Rodgers, Thompson, Murphy, McCarthy, etc, etc, etc….
Bears: Well….the Bears still suck. If that’s not a reason to hate Lambeau, I don’t know what is.
Lions: Honestly, I’ve ruled out the Lions. They haven’t been successful at anything in Wisconsin, or in Detroit for that matter, in over a decade.
Eagles: Andy Reid needed to back up the organization’s misplaced bravado for the Kevin Kolb era.
Jets: Rex Ryan is still mad that Charles Woodson is better than Darrelle “$20 mil” Revis.
Giants: Eli, guns don’t make you tough, neither do the Oreo commercials. Put down the Red Rider and let’s talk.
Washington Redskins: All offseason moves by the Redskins fail, so it couldn’t have been them. NEXT!
Falcons: You can’t cut me!! Do you know who I am?!?! I’m Matt Giordano!
Patriots: Bill Beelicheck thinks he can get away with anything.
Bills: Brian Brohm? Really? That’s what we’re looking at for QB? His hands are too sweaty? Who the @#$% drafted this clown?
Dolphins: When you’re as drunk as Ronnie Brown, who knows what you’ll shoot at? I learned this from my Uncle Liam O’Leary and his flask (jug) of Jameson when I was sixteen. It was the opening day of deer season, and that poor mail box never had a chance.
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