Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Franklin, You're an Ace. Everybody Knows It.

I hit the links this weekend for the first time in a long time, and while it was comparable to a lumberjack trying to swing an axe after a week-long bender, I at least got to do it with my grandfather, uncle and dad. I’d like to tip my cap to these gentlemen, they had to bite their tongues so hard to keep from laughing that I’m pretty sure they each had to get stitches. Going golfing always make me think of one thing, no it’s not Tiger’s harem and, no, it’s Phil’s hot wife. It’s Lacey Underall…hmmm, apparently, I relate all golf thoughts to women, but can you blame me? What am I going to think about, club loft? Pfft. I mean she’s rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.

So…Lacey Underall, Bushwood’s resident Siren, niece of Judge Smails, who loves bullfights on acid…(and who doesn’t?) Thinking of Lacey then reminds me what a fantastic movie Caddyshack is. The performances by Chevy Chase and Bill Murray, not to mention Ted Knight as Smails are just fantastic. Danny Noonan sucks, but, hey, the world needs ditch diggers too. My favorite character, though, is one, Al Czervik. Rodney Dangerfield’s real estate mogul, Czervik, is a terribly underrated part of Caddyshack, and should get way more credit for making the movie what it is. In fact, his dinghy is bigger than your whole boat. It’s really true that Czervik/Dangerfield gets no respect. So what? So let’s dance!

I don’t really like stats unless they are for my fantasy team, but I wanted to try to quantify what Dangerfield brings to Caddyshack, taking my subjective opinion, proving it with hard numbers. After hours, days, a week… yeah, yeah, I know it’s been a long time between Rants… I’ve come to the realization that it’s pretty hard to do. However, I refused to sell myself short, even if I am a tremendous slouch. So I figured it out, here are the numbers that prove the value of Al Czervik to the movie Caddyshack:

1,253, 4.4, 11, and just as important: 1.

That’s right, as so much of my life is, I related it back to the Packers. You see Al Czervik is the Ryan Grant of Caddyshack. Neither gets no respect. All the talk is about Webb, Spackler, Smails, Rodgers, Jennings, Driver, and Finley, but both Czervik and Grant are glossed over in discussions.

I want to right this grave injustice. You need to watch this to see what I mean…if you don’t have time to watch all 3:51, just fast forward to the 2:35 mark and view a thing of beauty…on par with this.

Now tell me both guys don’t deserve no respect. You can’t. You may think this a weak comparison, but I don’t keep score. How do I measure myself with other bloggers, you ask? By height.


  1. Adrian Peterson only rushed for 130 more yards than Grant last year, had the same 4.4 YPC, but fumbled it 6 more times than Grant - not to mention he has a better offensive line. Give me Grant! Dark horse candidate for Team MVP and possibly more this year.

  2. I love Grant, plus, he's a good Twitter follow. Intelligent and thoughtful.

    Thompson stole him from the Giants, and he probably got a discount on his contract for the production.

  3. 2:35 is my favorite part of that song.

  4. I love Grant, I'm a ND fan.

    That being said, can you imagine his potential if he starts shooting through the holes from week 1, instead of running into his OL and falling to the ground? He appears to only get his shit together after the first half of the season...

  5. Ryan Grant highlights just got me so jacked up. When does training camp begin? Dallas baby!

  6. New site is the shizzle.

  7. Brilliant and tactful. Awesome.


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