Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Congrats, John Kuhn. You're Moving Up the Rankings.

I was going to write something about how the Packers special teams played better than they have in years, but Jersey Al had me covered. In truth, I almost feel bad for the Eagles, they have no idea what they have done to themselves. The curse is real, and the curse is powerful…ask Mike Stock. Therefore, I decided why not write a little on my new 17th favorite Packer. (My rankings below #10 fluctuate weekly, daily, and hourly.) Congrats John Kuhn, you’ve moved into the top 20.

If I had a dollar for every touchdown that John Kuhn has scored for the Packers, I’d have, well…I’d have $7.00. Not exactly a windfall, but I’m still extremely excited to see what he’s going to bring to the table for the Packers this year with the injury to Ryan Grant.

The real issue is not the $7.00, I mean $7.00 buys a beer, which is always cool with me. Rather, it’s the initial investment into Kuhn that pays out the $7.00 that’s the impressive part. It’s tiny. He has 18 career rushing attempts…on those attempts he has scored 3 TDs. That means every 6th time he touches the ball, the Packers get 6 points. Kuhn is an even more dangerous scoring threat when he catches the ball; he has 4 TDs on 14 career receptions. He just scores TDs whenever the hell he touches the ball. This is a guy I can get behind.

Let’s be honest, though, Kuhn’s scoring proficiency is not THAT important to me or to the Packers for that matter. The real reason that I can’t wait for Kuhn’s increased role in the Packers offense is the fact that Kuhn has a one-syllable last name that is designed to be screamed out loud at the top of your lungs for an extended period of time. It’s fun in your living room, and it’s fun in the stadium: "KUUUUUUHN!" Plus, it will invariably lead to your idiotic, Bears fan brother-in-law or someone similar stopping, looking around, and asking, “Why are they booing? I thought the Packers just scored.”
“No, we did, it’s John KUUUUHN who scored. It’s pronounced Koon*.”
Puzzled look…“Why don’t they like him?”
“No, it’s not that they don't like...” {Sigh} “Apparently he hates cheese, bratwurst, and beer.”
“Is that right?”

Anyway, moving past the idiocy of Bears fans, here’s a little glimpse into my Sunday existence moving forward, as I’m sure it will be for many others:

Don’t believe me? Watch this clip, and tell me you didn’t have a strong desire to stand up and yell, “KUUUUUUHN!” Can you say it? Can you say you don't want stand up and scream? That’s what I thought.

Wait, Kirk does yell, "KUUUUUHN!!!" right?....Yeah, I'm pretty sure he does.

*Note: The Packers even say it's pronounced this way, check his bio. Hilarious.


  1. I just yelled KUUUUUHN!! And I liked it!

    He's also the KuhnDawg to me.

    And KuhnTown, Wisconsin.

    It's Kuhntagious.

  2. Carefull with saying that last one around Grandma Greenfield.

  3. A_Lerxst_in_PackerlandSeptember 16, 2010 at 5:30 PM

    I Kuhn dig it!

  4. KUUUUUUUUUHN! It even looks good in print.

    Damn. Double damn.

  5. A_Lerxst_in_PackerlandSeptember 19, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    All together now,

  6. At Herkimer in MPLS Sunday every time Kuhn touched the ball, "KUUUUUUUUHN!"



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