Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Did Hawkeye Steal That Jeep?

Where's the jeep?

I hate looking for stuff. I don’t like misplacing things and getting HULK-like mad while trying to sort through where I may have left it. I don’t like shopping which is essentially looking for stuff and then having to spend money on it when you find it. I absolutely hated “Where’s Waldo”. Just point me to Waldo, and tell the story as to why he’s constantly in these crazy situations…I’m guessing psychedelics have a lot to do with it. Look at what he’s wearing, no one in their right mind would wear those glasses? Wait a minute...

Lately, I feel like every Monday I’m stuck trying to look for the positives in the previous day’s Packer game. This is getting tiring, frustrating, and frankly, I’m sick of it. That said, I’m giving it one final shot.

After Sunday’s game the only thing I could think about was the injuries…the severity of them and the sheer number of them. The injuries Sunday reminded me of Korea three miles from the front (Damn, I love that movie. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading, watch, and return; I’ll wait.). Okay, so you get it, Packers =Mobile Army Surgical Hospital right now. Unfortunately, it is without the hijinks, hilarity, booze, fornication, and Hawkeye Pierce. Basically, it’s just the shitty parts: the injuries, the wounds, and the general malaise. In an effort to further make this comparison and to lighten up the atmosphere at 1 Ranter Place, Rantersville, United Republic of Rant, I thought I would find some M*A*S*H quotes. Then I realized that I had to go look for them…aaaaand I'm back to being pissed off, so I just used one of the top my head that seemed most applicable:

“What kind of team is this? Everyone is dropping like dead flies.”

Okay, that’s depressing, and like I said, I was here to find and rip the positives out of the open chest cavity of a depressing loss. Here goes: the Packers backups played well. That’s pretty simple and pretty positive. Desmond Bishop, Andrew Quarless, and Mike Neal stepped in and played solid games, Bishop being at the top of that group. If the goal of building your team is to have capable backups in the event your starters go down, then the Packers are in a good spot. Now, the problem Sunday is that the M*A*S*H filled up waaaaay faster than anyone could have been prepared for. At this point, we have to hope that reinforcements are on the way and the patients are healing quickly.

Just to be safe, we can also hope that in the future when McCarthy says, “I think it's important we go over the three basic principles: organization, discipline, and team work.” Someone steps up like Dr. Oliver Harmon Jones and says: “Excuse me, but do you mind if we limber up first?”


  1. Radar (in a letter): "As usual, I'm writing slowly because I know you can't read fast."

    Now I'm not one to say let's "Puss Up" the game, but a whole league of second and third stringers playing most of the season bores me. (Who really wants to watch Eli? But that's what you get when Payton goes down.)

    I'm just saying we need tuffer players. (That's right Poneyboy, TUFF!) Fortunately I know a place where the athletes play through broken bones, shattered ankles, snapped noses, sprained everything, and missing teeth. . . ah, now it's becoming clearer. It's the NHL of course. Looking for a 6'5" 255lb grizzled athlete who will play at a pro level after being put through 70+ meat grinder games? May I suggest Adam Oats? He will take severe punishment and still send opponents to the hospital. I've seen the ambulance come for their broken bodies.

    So man up and go draft some Russian monsters who will play like they are defending Stalingrad. Not One Step Back!
    (It all comes down to war movies)

  2. I can't believe you said "shitty." It's OK.

  3. Poopy? Crappy?

    No, I think shitty is appropriate there.

    Fun Fact: M*A*S*H is the first movie to ever have the F-bomb in it.

  4. The perfect argument as to why not to have a ban a steriods. We need more juice heads.

  5. I just added your blog site to my blogroll, I pray you would give some thought to doing the same.


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