Thursday, November 11, 2010

I've Made Some Lists

I watched High Fidelity for about the 100th time recently, and it inspired me to come up with some top 5 lists.  If you haven't seen the movie or read the book, it's revolves around a record store owner and his failed relationships. He drinks heavily, sits around his store with his two employees nerding-out about music, insults customers, and makes top 5 lists about everything. I like to imagine this is what it would be like to work at the Packer Pro Shop, sitting around and nerding-out talking about the Packers, ALL. DAY. However, I know the reality is that the staff at the Pro Shop are incredibly helpful and would never insult "middle-aged square guy" who is looking for a pink Favre jersey for his daughter. "Do you even know your daughter?!? There's no WAY she wants that jersey!" This is something they would never say...even if they should.

On to the lists....

Top Five Things to do During the Bye Week
  1. Wish it wasn't the bye week
  2. Cheer against the Vikings
  3. Cheer against the Bears
  4. Sleep through Sunday because who cares, really?
  5. Lament the fact that my homerism essentially makes my fantasy team worthless this week
Top Five Current Packer Celebrations (obviously this excludes the Lambeau Leap, as this is the greatest celebration in all of sports) :
  1. The Predator
  2. The Handshake
  3. The Samurai
  4. The Title Belt (yep, I said it)
  5. The Raji Finger Flick
Top Five Quotes from Jonathan Ke Quan also known as Shortround and Data:
  1. "Hey, lady! You call him Dr. Jones!"
  2. "Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes!"
  3. "No time for love, Dr. Jones!"
  4. "Pinchers of Peril... saved by my Pinchers of Peril!"
  5. "I'm very little! You cheat very big!"
Top Five Tailgate Foods:
  1. Bratwurst
  2. Sauerkraut
  3. Buns
  4. Onions
  5. More Bratwurst
Top Five Packers Dream Jobs:
  1. Supreme Overlord and Ruler of Lambeau Field and Surrounding Parking Lots
  2. QB 1
  3. Packers Pro Shop Buyer - so I could get the Pro Shop to carry Don Hutson jerseys
  4. McCarthy's Play Sheet Laminator - so I could actually see how many toss plays are designed for John Kuhn
  5. Longsnapper....sorry, Brett Goode, I'm coming for you!
Top Five Things About Thanksgiving:
  1. Grandma's Pumpkin Pie with real whipped cream
  2. Eating until you sleep, waking up, doing it again
  3. Football, football, football
  4. Stuffing, lots of stuffing
  5. Cranberries, not the band, although I do like band too
Top Five All-Time Packers Special Teamers
  1. Tracy White
  2. Tracy White
  3. Tracy White's biceps
  4. Tracy White
  5. Anyone else on special teams when Tracy White was playing, Tracy White makes everyone better
Top Five NFL Teams (My Power Rankings)
  1. Green Bay Packers
  2. Everyone else...okay, so there's only two in this list
Top Five Things That Get Packer Fans Talking....or Arguing:
  1. Ted Thompson
  2. A Loss
  3. Ted Thompson
  4. The Greatness of Charles Woodson
  5. Seeing the Big "G"...anywhere, anytime.
If you're bored, drop some of your own lists in the comments...and enjoy the Bye Week.


  1. Top 5 ways to waste a 3rd Round Pick:

    1. Package it with a 4th rounder to trade up for a punter.
    2. Trade for a WR who plays four weeks
    3. Draft a punter whose name frustratingly isn't plural. And who also sucks.
    4. Draft Donnell Washington
    5. Draft Torrence Marshall

  2. Bye Week Sunday:
    Go bowling with friends & down a 6pk of PBRs while watching 80 years of Packer highlights on the big screen.
    Better make is 12pk, there are a lot of highlights.

  3. Top 5 products of religion.
    1. colonialism
    2. racism
    3. xenophobia
    4. exclusion
    5. self-delusion

  4. John, I think you need a pick-me-up. May I suggest worshiping the Packers at a cathedral call Lambeau along with 79,927 other devoted followers.

  5. Top 5 Things You Don't Talk About:

    1) Fight Club
    2) Jonny Vicious' shades
    3) Robert's hair
    4) Any criticisms of Tracy White (there are none)
    5) SELF-DELUSION (the self-delusion at The Ranter runs deep, and we do not like to face it. Ever.)

    ps-And you all thought I was going to say religion!

  6. Before I do this, let me state that I am a die-hard Packers fan, my blood runs green and gold, and I apologize if this causes any of my fellow backers any pain.

    Top five things that make a Packers fan wince when he hears them mentioned:

    5. Jamal Reynolds
    4. The T. J. Rubley audible
    3. Tony Mandarich
    2. Purple #4
    1. Fourth and 26

    I know others would have different things on this list.

  7. What a great resource!


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