Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Packers Are Sitton Pretty

I recently had a conversation with Packers' super-stud guard, Josh Sitton.  I have provided you lucky Ranter readers with a transcript of said conversation below:

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU STARING AT?"

Nothing, nothing, man. Oooh, it IS you....I didn't mean to stare. I just really appreciate what you're doing for the Packers.  You're playing fantastic football right now, and you're a rock on a line that struggled at times last season.

"Oh, okay. Thanks, man. We're trying hard."

I think right now you're probably the best lineman in the NFC North. You've played well against some great defensive linemen, and you've flat-out dominated them.

"Well, thanks, dude. It's really a team effort."

You're being too modest, guy. You're playing at a Pro Bowl level, you know that right?....Ummm, you don't really come off as a nasty lineman in normal conversation, you know that?"

"WHAT?!?! I'M NASTY AS HELL WHEN I'M ON THE FIELD."

No, no, I know...I was just saying you seem pretty mild-mannered otherwise from what I can tell. It's just surprising because you look like you're trying to bury guys six feet under the turf when you're playing.

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, I didn't mean to yell, I just get fired up thinking about crushing D-tackles."

That's freaking AWESOME! I get fired up by that same sort of thing!! Linemen never get enough recognition. Dude, can I buy you a PBR Tallboy sometime?"

"WHAT?!?! I drink Guinness...lots of them."

Oh yeah? Oh, sure, whatever, man. I just wanted to say thank you for doing all the dirty work that you guys never get credit for. Man, I just really respect your game, and the high level you're playing at.

"Thanks, man. I appreciate it."

Hey, ummmm...this might sound weird, but I'm writing this play about a wealthy cattle racher's son who falls in love with a homely saloon wench. You ever think about acting? With your look, you know the beard and the hair, I think you'd make a great "Cowboy #2" who is drinking suds and playing cards in the tavern...

"A COWBOY?!?! YOU WANT ME TO PLAY A COWBOY?!?! NO. WAY. I HATE COWBOYS."

Me too, Josh.  Me too.  Good luck on Sunday.

3 comments:

  1. Love the exclusive interview. Keep 'em coming.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love O-Lineman. Mark "TwoShoes" is in my top 10 of all time.

    ReplyDelete

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