Friday, November 5, 2010

Sad Panda Needs a Hug?

In light of this weekend’s game against the trainwreck of team not from MN, I thought I’d do my best Brian Carriveau impression with a twist. I plopped around the Cowboys blogs and such in hopes of tapping into their collective pulse and what I found made me LOL. They are definitely a sad organization in more ways than one.

And here we go!

On, we learn the Cowboys promoted Bryan McCann from the practice squad to return kicks. Apparently McCann can run the 40 in 4.32 “against the wind.” “Baked Potato Soup” comments that this new kicker is good, because “we have to return a LOT of kicks.”

Indeed, BPS, indeed. LOL.

Venture over to and you’ll first notice their slogan, “The Dallas Cowboys are America’s Team.” Sure. Whatever. Then, you’ll notice this less-than-optimistic post: “Not going to win many more this season. Season is over. Wade should not finish the night as the head coach. Defense was outcoached on MNF. Don’t really care if Romo takes another snap as a cowboy. Bring in a winner for next year.”

I’m sure Jerry will get right on that.

On the Cowboys blog through ESPN, one scout suggests a secret weapon may utilize Sunday. “Where the Cowboys also had some success against the Packers last season was the slot blitz with Orlando Scandrick.” Really? I don’t remember this at all, so I’ll have to take his word for it. So Packers, you know, be sure to keep their Scandrick at bay… or else I guess.

I’m pretty sure the Fox affiliate for Dallas Fort-Worth may have just conceded the season weeks ago. Their most recent story is that Romo broke his collarbone “Monday night”. LOL.

In addition to the already horrible season, tells us Dallas has released their top two picks (both 3rd rounders) from the 2009 draft: Jason Williams and Robert Brewster. If you recall, the Cowboys traded their first round pick for Roy Williams and then traded down from their second round. Could you ever imagine Ted giving up on two 3rd round picks after just one year? I mean, we finally just released Mike Montgomery after five years – and he was a 6th round pick! Ouch, Cowboys, ouch.

The quotes a poll as to who will take over for Wade Phillips after this year. The results are as follows:

Jon Gruden — 3/2
Bill Cowher — 5/2
Jason Garrett — 4/1
Wade Phillips — 50/1
Any other coach — 1/1

But the real gem is the quote that follows. “We should all find comfort in the fact that “any other coach” is the leading candidate to replace Wade. Something has to be done to turn this team around and getting rid of the pathetic head coach is a great start.”

In a poll on the Dallas morning news with almost 1500 votes, 40% believe the Cowboys will win two games or less this year. Another 40% believe that can win 3-4. LOL if you’re lucky. In the comments after the poll, Abilene shows he feels pretty strongly about his apathy for the team: “When all things are truly considered, who really cares? I used to be a frequent blogger hoping that these opinions would be heard. They are not even seen by those that make decisions. Whether the Cowboys ever win again, this once proud franchise has been demoralized and become a source of ridicule around the league… Upon further review, I really don't care.”

Concur, Abilene. You (and the Vikings) are the butt of 95% of all jokes around the league.


  1. Looks like Dallas fans turn against their team as quickly as MN fans do.
    Packer Fan: "Looks like your (Cowboys/Vikings) are having a tuff go this season. Think they will turn it around>"

    Vikings or Cowboys Fan: "Huh? What? Oh, um football, right? I guess so. To tell you the truth I've never really followed them."

    PF: "But wern't you talking all that crap a couple weeks ago? 'Brett Farve/Jerry Jones this, and ALL-Day/new stadium that. Randy Moss/Tony Romo will tourch the Pack like in the good-old-days.' That was you, right?"

    VF or CF: "Hey, I've got more important things to do than listen to this!"

  2. I used to live in the DFW area for seven years, even if the Pack lost on Sunday (heaven for fend), listening to the local sports radio shows after a Cowgirl loss would always make me feel better.
    They jump ship faster than a Viqueen fan!

  3. Is this what you really want to do with your life? Go around to random blogs and paste in some bullshit? It's never to late to change. I believe you can do it.

  4. Way to go with the guilt route, Robert. I like it.


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