One thing I still don’t get…no, it’s not how the Bears have won the NFC North. That’s easy. They played bush league QBs in 50% of their games and then got really lucky in the other 50%.
The thing I can’t figure out is why Jay Cutler’s hair is so terrible.
Look at that weird pile of follicles. It’s like a mop crossed with a helmet and then dipped in reddish orange hair dye.
Does he let a drunk 8 year old cut it? That just seems unsafe…not to mention illegal to provide an 8 year old with booze.
Is he nostalgic? Does he go to his childhood barber? Because I can respect honoring the past, even if the Bears don't. (btw - It wasn't us, but whoever named that photo is a genius.) But is his childhood barber blind?
Does he have one of the trainers cut it? With tape scissors?
Does he do it himself?
As I pondered these options, I realized I should take the time to honor the hair gods for bestowing Robert and me with magnificently beautiful locks….done.
Okay, back to Jay Cutler’s head of disgrace. It took me awhile to get there, but I figured it out. Cutler is in Chicago, while there is most definitely a number of qualified hair-trimming technicians in the area, there is only one Ron Paxton.
Okay, Jay, sit there. He’s going to put that thing on your melon.
Yep, Jay Cutler uses the Suck Kut. If there is one thing we all know about Ron Paxton’s Suck Kut, (that actually might be a great nickname for Jay) is that “it sucks, as it cuts.”
It certainly does….resemble the Bears.