Monday, December 20, 2010

Vikings/Bears First Half Running Diary

I'm bored, so I figured I'd do a little running diary of the Vikings/Bears game. FYI - The only reason I'm watching this giant, frozen crap-fest is that it's important to the Packers.

7:35 - Man, I hate these two teams...we'll see how long this lasts as there is a South Park Christmas marathon on Comedy Central. Jay Cutler has always reminded me of Cartman.

7:40 - Would a tie help the Packers? I really don't want either team to win.

7:41 - Vikings fans wear some stupid outfits. Eric the Red would not be pleased.

7:42 - Jaws: "Brett Favre, the ultimate warrior." Ummm...no, there was only one Ultimate Warrior..actually maybe there was two.

7:46 - Percy Harvin TD. The. Bears. Still Suck.

7:50 - How long before Gruden says, "These teams don't like each other."?

7:51 - Text from Viking fan buddy: So. Much. Fun. Favre.

8:00 - So Favre's a "wily, old veteran" and "like a 23 year-old"? I'm so confused right now. Make it stop.

8:01 - Favre's healthy. He threw an INT. And I win an online sports betting wager.

8:04 - I wish Toby Gerhart would have blown Julius Peppers up on that interception. Make yourself useful, Tobias.

8:10 - It's like the Vikings are playing the Vikings, they aren't even mentioning the Bears.

8:14 - Bomb to Johnny Knox. Ugh. Double-Ugh.

8:17 - Toby Gerhart is a poor man's John Kuhn....like Bob Cratchit poor.

End of First Quarter

8:22 - Chris Harris just blew up Bob Cratchit. Tiny Tim might have felt that hit.

8:27 - Jay Cutler looks miserable. Then again, doesn't he always have that look on his face? I guess he can't be that miserable, he got away with a blatant intentional grounding.

8:31 - Is there any player in the history of football that Jon Gruden didn't love?....other than Keyshawn Johnson. Now there are coworkers, I wonder how awkward those staff meetings are.

8:32 - Favre got LIT. UP. Joe Webb, strap up. Side note: Bryant McKinnie is terrible.

8:39 - There is nothing to like about the Chicago Bears. I'm trying to think of something...anything...nope, nothing.

8:40 - Favre's return "Doubtful" We know that doesn't mean anything.

8:42 - Thanks a lot, Vikings. You could have at least pretended to show up. 17-7. Game over.

8:47 - The Vikings should start running the option, it might not work, but it'd be fun to watch.

8:48 - Gruden: "He doesn't know anything." I'm beginning to think you have a lot in common, Jon.

8:51 - This game is terrible...let's see what else is on...hmmmm...Bad Santa? (Link contains fairly un-Christmaslike language. Sorry, Grandma) "You want me to make you some sandwiches, Santa?"

8:55 - The Vikings have fallen really, really, really, extremely, drastically far in a short amount of time.

8:56 - Two minute warning. Two minutes until I go find something more worthwhile to do like....well, like anything else.

8:58 - How the hell do the Bears not know that offsetting penalties negate the play?!? Morons....and Jay Cutler pulls out his magic. I love watching him throw interceptions. They really are a thing of beauty. Seriously, that was a perfect throw to Asher Allen.

9:07 - It's a Christmas Miracle. HALFTIME.

9:16 - I don't think I would buy a Dodge Caravan from Dexter Morgan...on the other hand it might be the safe thing to do to stay off his radar....and I'm off to shovel. Night everyone.

2 comments:

  1. Soorjo Alexander William Langobard Oliphant ChuckerbuttyDecember 21, 2010 at 11:08 AM

    Christmas vacation was also on. Know your options.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Half time, Vikings locker room. Zygi Wilf, "God damit!!!! play like daddy needs a new stadium!!!
    Second half on mute, they had the inter-web on that night, needed some last minute gifts. Umm? The cheese and sausage gift box looks nice. What? Packer gift wrap...jackpot!

    ReplyDelete

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