Tuesday, January 18, 2011

No One Should Be Scared

People have been around a long time, and as long as people have been around, they have gotten scared.  (Well, not Robert and me, but I'm pretty sure most other people have gotten scared.)  While talking to some friends recently, I learned people get scared of monsters.  I know that will come as a surprise to Robert as he happens to love monsters. So I asked these quaking ninnies what sort of monsters scare them.

Their answers:

Monster Ballads


The Green Monster

Monster Energy Drink


Monsters of the Midway

Cookie Monster

The Loch Ness Monster

I nodded with sympathy while they shared with me the various monsters that they check for under their beds every night. Lucky for me these are the same monsters that I simply do not fear, as my giant sense of self-worth banishes them to their dark dwelling places wherever I go.

"Wait....Monsters of the Midway? What the hell are these?" I asked. "Horned dragons? Soul-sucking demons? Skunk apes?" My friends shuddered as I rambled off the beasts that so often made them cower in fear.

Their only stammering answer to my question, "Well...they're blue...they're ugly as hell..."

This didn't really help me understand their fear much, so I decided to do a little research. The only monster I could find that fit that description:

Ummm....my only conclusion from this, Packer fans, is you do not have to be scared of any blue monsters claiming to be "Monsters of the Midway".


  1. I look at the Bears as little Fred Savages. So fricken cute I just want to hug them. To Death!

  2. You want to know who the monster is? I'll tell you. It's that snot-nosed little punk Fred Savage, that's who it is. Let's NOT forget, dudes, that he played a juvenile convalescing BEARS FAN in the oscar-snubbed classic, "The Princess Bride." To the Pit of Despair with that little jerk.

  3. Such a great movie, Ruppert.

    Anytime you can get Columbo to read you a story, you have to take it.

    I wish they would have fed Savage to the R.O.U.S.'s.


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