Monday, April 11, 2011

New At The Pro Shop: Lambeau Field Lockout Kraut

I don't feel sorry for anyone in this lockout other than the staff of the Packers. Staff who, while they have not yet, may be forced to take an involuntary pay cut, or if things drag on, a vacation. Personally, I think that's unacceptable. I love days off and vacations as much as the next big, fat, party animal, but forced vacations are just not cool. This is even more true when the cause of the forced all-day happy hour is because two sides can't sit down and negotiate like adults.

In order to protect these hardworking folks who make the Green Bay Packers run like the Super Bowl winning machine they are from losing their livelihood, I have come up with a moneymaking scheme. A scheme so simplistic, you'd think someone would have thought of it already, especially someone on the grounds crew. In the absence of training camp and possibly a portion of the season, I suggest planting row upon row of cabbage on the practice fields and Lambeau itself and when the crop is ready, making Lambeau Field Lockout Kraut. I can't think of a better way to create a source of funds for staff payroll in the absence of football. People will flock from regions far and wide to get a tour of the cabbage crops and the pickling room (I suggest the visitors' lockerroom, as the smell will linger long after the lockout has ended). Following the tours, people will clamor for a bratwurst condiment grown and produced at the home of the Packers.

I personally plan on buying two giant tubs and mounding this delectable pickled cabbage product on the first brat I eat when celebrating the eventual start of football...whenever that may be. I can also feel proud of myself that I am helping out the good folks who work at 1265 Lambeau.

Remember, it's important to not only support the team, but to support the whole Packer family.


  1. "That idea's so good it should've been mine."

    Can you image how much a jar of special edition 2011 Lockout Kraut grown at Lambeau would go for? Blow your mind, man.

  2. A great idea of brand expansion. Can already envision an annex to the Pro Shop specializing in Lockout Kraut

  3. Just think of the lockout as furlough days.

  4. There was a subtle nod to our government's ineffectiveness at coming together here as well. Furlough Franks, anyone?

  5. Union Onions, Collective Catsup, Bargaining Beans, Protest Pints? Also potato salad and mustard, for which I have no pro- or anti- union names, but are important parts a balanced breakfast.
    Nutrition should not be neglected in these troubled times.


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