Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Dominating Trees - Live at Stadium View 2011

Trolling the interwebs yesterday afternoon, I was insanely pleased to find out that the Indomitable Brian Carriveau has begun his Best & Worst Case Scenario series over at Cheesehead TV. If you are unfamiliar with these pieces, Brianimal takes each position group on the Packers and gives the best and worst possible outcome for each player for the upcoming season. Yesterday, he attacked my favorite position: the tight ends.

I'm not usually one to criticize anyone else's writing or opinions, or even their choice of favorite cheese curds (I mean you've seen some of the stuff I've written here, it's amazing the Guardians of the Intertubes even let me on the internet). However, I found one small omission from Brian's piece on the Packers' tight ends, an omission I thought important enough to share with Packer fans. This omission comes under the "Best Case Scenario: Tom Crabtree".  Knowing Brian's thoroughness (he's a good man and he's thorough), I'm sure this second paragraph was edited out due to space concerns against his strong arguments. We here at The Ranter have no such space restrictions, and we felt we should share this potential scenario for Mr. Crabtree.

Tom Crabtree
Best Case Scenario (Paragraph 2):

In addition to his work on the field, Tom starts a three-piece alt/metal band called, The Dominating Trees. The Trees, as they are known to their loyal fan base, get a standing gig playing at Stadium View following Packers' home games. Starting out playing Jane's Addiction covers, Tom (lead guitar, vocals) begins writing his own songs. The Trees gradually work these into their set list and receive favorable responses from the drunken revelers celebrating Packers' victories at Stadium View. One of these songs, "Crabmeat", starts getting requested more and more. Noticing this popularity, record mogul Aaron Rodgers invites The Trees to his studio during the bye week. They record four original songs, and distribute the album to Green Bay radio stations. The response is positive, but it doesn't reach much farther than Wausau. However, due to Tom's prodigious promotion on Twitter, "Crabmeat", catches on nationally. The video, a live taping at Stadium View, goes viral on YouTube, and sales on iTunes skyrocket. "Crabmeat" eventually debuts at #79 on the Billboard Charts. With the increased exposure of a 2nd Super Bowl appearance, and strong showing there: 3 catches 46 yards and a TD, The Trees are able to schedule a four state midwest tour in the Spring of 2012, culminating with an appearance with punter and funnyman Chris Kluwe's band, Tripping Icarus, at First Avenue in Minneapolis.

All in all, a good year for Tom Crabtree.

Keep up the great work, Brian!


  1. Even though I am well past my concert-rocking days, Crabtree and Kluwe would be a show I would pay good money to see.

    Hell, I might even pack up and become a roadie.

  2. I'd for sure set up the stage and hand Tom his axe, Max.

  3. I typically skip any article where a media outlet opines about another media outlet . . . . however, the use of the compound word, "Crabmeat" and mention of A-Rod's budding producing career tip the scales into The Best Rant Ever!(this week) column.

  4. Glad you liked, Buck.

    The 2nd single is titled, "Blocking Sled from Hell"

  5. It's important to note that all songs on the album are about dietary disaster and intestinal distress rather than football related themes as some might wrongly assume.

  6. I have to call a foul here. Stop putting a purple punter in the same sentence with a real badass.

    Tom Crabtree would eat Chris Kl-"Uwe Blab" for breakfast. He would kill him. He would cook him. He would eat him. And THAT would give the intestinal distress that provides the motivation for the next hit single.


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