Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sit. Stand. Stay Home.

Robert and I had a blast a couple weeks ago in Green Bay for the Saints game. Some of our shenanigans cannot be discussed here, as I'm pretty sure we are now being monitored by numerous security agencies, both domestic and foreign. Don't worry though, my tin-foil hat will keep them out....and also all my thoughts in.

It has taken a couple weeks for the hazy green and gold glow to wear off, and while 99.65% of our experiences were positive, I began to have an uneasy feeling that all was not right during the 2011 Merry Ranters' Lambeau Adventure. I couldn't put my finger on it. It was like an itch that I couldn't scratch with an extra large BBQ tongs, a hunger that I could not satiate with a thousand bratwurst, a hangover that I could not weaken with a bucket of Bloody Mary's.

However, it all came back to me when I visited a local Packer bar to watch the Bears game. I ambled in, most likely smelling strongly of the previous night's libations. The hostess smiled and said, "Have a seat anywhere."

Have a seat....Sit....SIT DOWN!

I immediately started to sweat and shake with rage. The reason? Robert and I had an unfortunate experience at the Packers/Saints game, one that has occurred in prior years, but one that I had apparently repressed until this past Sunday. By some stroke of luck, Robert's aunt has amazing season tickets, and we are fortunate enough to be able to use them for one game a year. The issue we are faced with though is we have a large number of people behind us, namely everyone, and among these Packer fans are some very vocal curmudgeons. These individuals have taken it upon themselves to be Lambeau Field's volunteer ushers. Any time Robert and I would stand up, we would immediately be pelted with, "Sit down!" and "Down in front!" exclamations. At first, my tailgating courage allowed me to ignore these people and remain standing, but slowly, I realized that it would be best to just acquiesce as they would never stop and may turn to throwing things at fellow Packer fans. Several times I turned around to see who these jackwagons were, but they remained hidden and blended in with the sea of cheeseheads and jerseys, not courageous enough to make their location known.

By halftime, I had sufficiently been beaten down, and only stood when all others around had taken their feet. Well, tonight I've gotten my courage back, as well as my rage, and I have something to say to these people who feel the need to impart their self-created Lambeau-cheering protocols upon other Packer fans:


That's right. You've been spoiled by your season tickets. You no longer get excited by attending a Packers game like others do. You feel that because you go to every game, you can tell others how to cheer for their team. You know what? You can't, and I won't let you anymore. I like to cheer standing up, and that's my Saint Vince-given right. You prefer to sit on your fat, spoiled ass and watch like you are on your couch. Well, I say stay in your living room and tell your family and friends how to watch the game, not people you don't know who are enjoying themselves. You can watch your HD TV, drink your own beer, and eat your own food with no one standing in front of you for the entire 3 hours.

In the end, you'll be happier, and I sure as hell will be happier. You know why? Because I appreciate being at the game more than you do, and if I want to stand, I should damn well be able to do so without having a so-called Packer fan telling me to sit down. Certainly not one who yells "Sit down!" and then hides in the crowd.

Okay, I have to calm down now, it's bedtime, but in parting I have this message for you: Man the @$#% up...and stand the @$#% up while you're at it. The game is better from up here.


  1. AGREED IN FULL, SIR!! I wanted to stand the entire game! It was my first time there and I was SO EXCITED that I kept jumping up! Lucky for me, the couple behind me were understanding and realized that I was "not from around these parts", so they did not have an issue with all of my standing and cheering! But if you're going to be at a football game, you need to stand up and cheer!! THIS ISN'T GOLF, FOLKS!

    GO! PACK! GO!


  2. How could you not stand at Lambeau? Makes zero sense.

    You paid for the ticket, the same as everyone else did. That means you have a right to (within reason) do what you want with your seat. Want to stand, like 99.99999% of the fans at Lambeau do to cheer on the Packers? Do it. Want to sit? Do it.

    It's your choice.

  3. No kidding. And it's not like this was a late-season, meaningless game. This was the NFL opener hosted by the defending Super Bowl Champs. GIVE ME A BREAK, people! We were not standing the ENTIRE time either. It was during important plays - 3rd down conversions, big stops, etc. This has got me really fired up again! Lol.

  4. The rage burns deep with you, Greenfield.

    Glad I could fan the flames.

  5. I haven't sat to watch a football game at home in six years. Sitting during a GB game at my house will get a football tossed in your lap while a crazed relative yells,"FUMBLE-ROOSKI!!" and dives on you punching at said football.
    Sitting can be dangerous.

  6. YES!! Well said!!

    My "best" experience was during a game at SD ten or so years back. The people behind me complained that my cheesehead was "blocking their view" when I was sitting down, which was bull. They called the usher over and she threatened to kick me out w/o even hearing my side. So I took the cheesehead off and proceeded to standup, turnaround, and scream directly at the guys behind me "YEEEEEEEAH GO PACKERS!!!" after every good GB play, which was ALOT of times! Those losers never came back to their seats after halftime!!

  7. I as well, attended this game and had a similar experience, but not necessarily with the people in the stands but with the crowd in the tailgate lot and Adam Levine.

    I was shocked to discover that people actually came to Lambeau Field, not to watch football, but to attend a ‘free’ concert. Because of this concert, our tailgate area was significantly smaller, filled with more people and more booze and brats were stolen at a faster rate. We were not allowed to continue on and play our Packer loving music, in fact; the rent-a-cops actually came over and shut it off for us, after many complaints from the surrounding Adam Levine lovers. It was such a let down on this opening day that we could not carry with such classics as, “Where the hell is Neenah, Cheese-head baby, and Da Bears Still Suck.”

    I guess I didn’t realize people came to Lambeau Field on opening day to watch skinny Adam Levine in his tight jeans to perform a few one hit wonders. To all the people that came for the show, Go home and watch ‘The Voice’ and save yourself a few hundred bucks.


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