Sunday, December 9, 2012

We Answer Motown Milton's Questions

Before the last Packers/Lions game, we shot a few questions to Motown Milton who is a lifelong Detroit Lion fan. Because of this fandom, he has gone through more suffering than any Packer fan will ever know. As if that wasn't enough, he is engaged to be married to a Vikings' fan (although he assures me that Minnetonka Tina is now a Lions' supporter). Milton is assuredly a stronger man than I. Anyhoo, in the interest of fair play, Robert and I agreed to answer some of Milton's questions. Enjoy.

What's it like to win in Green Bay? It's been since the early 90's I don't even remember what it's like?

FH: Hmmm....very philosophical question. I have never thought about what it's like to win in Green Bay. It's akin to asking, "What's it like to breathe the air?" 

RG: Wow, getting right into things. Winning at Lambeau is like a living thing – it connects you more to life. I like to think about what was going on with the players in the offseason and what they do right before the game. I like to think about how the sun is shining down, just a little warmer, during a game. I think about all those people who gathered for the experience. Some are old and some are young, and how the tradition will continue after I’m gone. I love how the team continues to evolve, how every season and every win feels just a little different than the last. Winning at Lambeau is like life itself. It feels so f**cking good.

Fresh or fried cheese curds?

FH: Much like the spoon, there is no "or". 

RG: Yes please. OK, fried cheese curds with a side of ranch at Stadium View are as good as it gets. Been known to cure hangovers as well.

If Rodgers, McCarthy, and Calvin Johnson joined forces would they dominate the NFL? I figure 3,000 yds for Calvin and 7,000 for Rodgers.

FH: Throw in Adrian Peterson to that crew, and I would say they could play 3 on 11 and always be favored by +7.5

RG: While likely true, the question is otherwise irrelevant. Rodgers is capable of dominating the NFL by himself. Just ask the people at who they have their money on.

What's the brew of choice at Packer tailgates?

FH: I was tailgating in Green Bay last weekend, and I had Miller Lite, Coors Light, Spotted Cow, Moon Man, PBR, Sierra Nevada, and a bloody Mary. I think variety is the spice of life....and tailgates.

Best food item at Lambeau?

FH: Whatever you eat at the tailgate, or whatever cheese, sausage, and crackers the girls behind you from Marinette give you during the game. Thanks, ladies.

What is a must for a person making their first appearance at Lambeau?

RG: Time. I believe it was Aristotle – or was it Aerosmith? – who once said that life’s a journey; not a destination. The same holds true for Packer games. While Lambeau is the pinnacle of sports venues, nothing compares to the total experience of a game-day weekend in Green Bay, preferably hosted by a Packer Ranter.

FH: What he said. Also, the Ranter even offers short tours of the players' parking lot...on accident.

What if Lambeau had a roof?

RG: I will not entertain this ridiculous hypothetical.

FH: If Lambeau had a roof, I wouldn't want to live on this planet anymore. 

How would you feel if the Pack were winning 3 games in a row with under two minutes to go vs. good teams and blew all three games? Oh wait – that's been the last three weeks for the Lions. Pretty much sums up our franchise. One playoff win since 1957, but at least we didn't lose on a hail Mary that the other guy didn't even catch.

RG: Venting is good for the soul. Just get it all out, man.

FH: I'd feel like a Lions' fan? Too soon for Fail Mary jokes, Milton. I still get a rage headache when I see Pete Carroll and Rusty Wilson. TOO SOON!

What's it like to win a playoff game and god forbid make the Super Bowl?

RG: Like warm apple pie.

FH: It feels like taking that first bite out of a brick of sharp cheddar...wait, you don't eat it right off the brick? 

What’s your take on all the Packer commercials? I can't believe Jennings missed so much time when he hurt himself in the old spice commercial?

FH: Truth is, Greg Jennings wasn't even hurt. Mike McCarthy was just giving Rodgers a higher degree of difficulty. He 's constantly trying to find new ways to challenge him. I believe McCarthy plans on starting Rodgers at safety against the Bears. 

Thoughts on cheeseheads? Manly, ridiculous, tradition, waste of money?

RG: Perhaps all of the above. Hey man, they saved a guy’s life once I heard. You just have to embrace it. Harmless fun.

FH: Of all the things you could spend money on to wear on your head, a foam piece of cheese is the most manly, ridiculous, and traditional.

Brandon Pettigrew or Jermichael Finley vs. the jugs machine? I think jugs machine wins.

RG: Well played, sir. Well played indeed.

FH: I'm in Finley's corner. He has picked it up lately, and he will be a big factor in the playoffs. #uncharacteristicallyseriousanswer

This one’s from ‘Tonka Tina: "How will the Lions blow it in the last two minutes Sunday?"

FH: Don't worry, it won't be close in the last two minutes.

Favorite Lions player?

RG: Barry Sanders was the best running back ever.

FH: Harry Colon. No question.

Rank Suh, Cutler, Vikings' horn, Vikes’ fans, John Randle, Warren Sapp

FH: I will not do that, but Vikings' horn is last, somewhere behind feces.

Milton's Prediction: Either Packers win big – and I mean REAL big – like 38-17 or close back and forth game with Pack again winning at end 27-23. How's Rodgers going to sleep knowing he's going up vs. a secondary of Chris Houston, Drayton Florence, Delmas, Ricardo Silva, Don Carey, and Carlton Banks (and only one of those is made up). Good luck Ranters. I'll be pulling for you in the playoffs. I'm kinda jealous of your franchise.

RG: Folks, we cannot make this up. The jealousy runs deep. You have to give this Lions’ fan credit for his honesty and his humbleness. He might be one of the coolest opposing fans we have ever encountered. And while you don’t need our permission to marry Tina, Milton, you certainly have our blessings.

And yes, the Packers will win.

FH: You're welcome to become a Packer fan, Milton. We will greet you with open arms. You could do a lot worse than green and navy and orange or purple and yellow.

Prediction? Packers win big. Finley has a TD. #YOTTO


  1. Congrats on the win ranters. Maybe next year will be the year we win in GB, but I wont bet on it. Thanks for some solid answers, I feel so well informed about packer nation. One side note, the Lions have been fortunate enough to have Barry Sanders and megatron and when all is said and done possibly two of best players at their position, and will probably end up with one combined playoff win in their time. To be a lions fan. Motown Milton out.


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