Sunday, May 12, 2013

You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

Believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by three o'clock this afternoon...with nail polish.

These #$%&ing amateurs...
Eddie Lacy has a toe. Eddie Lacy's toe is apparently more of a hot topic than anyone realized, whether it has green nail polish or not. I would have thought his 1,322 yards, 17 touchdowns and 6.5 yards per carry would be a better topic of discussion. Silly, Hillside.

With the news that Denver and Pittsburgh passed on Lacy because of a toe surgery before his 2012 season, his toe is now a concern...for some. Not me, and not the Green Bay Packers. It's also not a concern for Lacy or the doctor, Dr. E. Lyle Cain Jr., who performed the surgery, according to an article by Tyler Dunne.  This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, and this little piggy had bone fusion surgery that will not affect his big toe motion.

Are you worried that his fall to the second round, being drafted after other running backs when he was the highest rated player at his position, is an indication that his toe situation will derail his Packers' career? I wouldn't bother worrying if I were you. I had a chance this past week to speak with a couple guys that are very close to Eddie Lacy and very close to his big toe in particular. Here's what they said:

"Look, I've known and been working right next to BT (short for Big Toe) my whole life, I can tell you that he is an incredibly hard worker, and he will not let this little surgery stop him from working with ALL of us to help the Green Bay Packers win. He's been an inspiration to me, I've looked up to him. Both figurative and literally, I guess. {chuckles} Of course the turf toe injury hurt BT, but that's why he had the surgery, to make sure that it wouldn't affect him in the future. I watched the whole surgery, front row seat, there was no better group of medical professionals in my opinion, and with a name like E. Lyle Cain Jr. how can he not be a pro? It just sounds impressive. Everyone one of us here helped BT get back into shape, get back to the game. Look what we did last year, do you think we could have done that if BT wasn't ready or if he was affected by the surgery? No way. We're a team down here, and we pick each other up, but BT is so important to what we do that if he wasn't ready, we couldn't have done it. Period. You ask any of these guys, and they'll tell you, BT is the leader and makes it all go...and he's ready, man. He's ready."

-Craig Phalange II aka Eddie Lacy's 2nd toe


"I don't work with BT directly, but down here we function as a group. One weak link and, that's it, we're done. Shut down. Slow. Weak. In that sense, we have to know each guy's situation. Me, personally, I've got a reputation. I go down, and it means pain, and it means long recovery, and it could very well mean not returning to our previous levels of output. I mean, hell, I'm named after a Greek mythological hero whose only point of weakness is essentially...me. BT, he's got all our support, and those four guys next to him have really helped him after the surgery to get the front end of this team working again. 17 touchdowns and 6.5 yards a clip is proof of that. I can tell you that feet are often overlooked for knees or shoulders or heads in this game, but we're important too. BT is a big part of our success. We're ready as a team. If you have any doubt, just look at this cover of Sports Illustrated (pictured above). We came down hard on that poor guy, he didn't even know what was happening. Just stomped him after running over his buddy. Heh. I was talking to Andrew Metatarsal III right after that play, and he said he felt BAD about how we treated that guy. Heh. Andy's always got soft spot when we embarrass guys. Anyway, for those that doubt us, I just laugh and think, 'Wait 'til this season, man. Wait 'til this season.' "

-Bill Achilles aka Eddie Lacy's Achilles tendon

After hearing from Lacy, Lacy's doc, and Craig and Bill, I can't find any reason to believe why the Packers' 2nd round draft pick and BT won't prosper and thrive for the Green Bay Packers.

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