Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Annie's Analysis

In an effort to cheer up, talk off the ledge, and/or calm the rage of some Packers' fans after a loss, I thought I would get some in-depth analysis of the week's game from everyone's favorite ginger, orphan, Packer fan, Annie. I think sometimes a little positivity could go a long way toward saving someone from trying to drown themselves in their Cheerios following a defeat. It always helps to remember that, because of science, the sun will, in fact, come out tomorrow.

In an effort to be fair-and-balanced, heh, I may do a similar piece after each win to satisfy the doom-and-gloomers who can't be happy with a victory. We're all about representing ALL Packers' fans here at The Ranter. I think I may call it "Eeyore's Examination".

Here's the sunshine:
  • Aaron Rodgers looked in mid-season form despite the hand-wringing that he may not have gotten enough preseason action. Yeah, preseason.
  • A screen pass. An honest to goodness screen pass. Brilliant.
  • Okay, it's not game-related, but on cloo Network, Mondays are #MacGyverMondays. Nothing but wall-to-wall episodes of Angus MacGyver's exploits for Pete Thorton and the Phoenix Foundation. I'm watching it right now.
  • A healthy Jordy Nelson who just made big plays. The toe-drag catch gave me goosebumps. Truly a beautiful thing. Follow the green and gold brick road because there's no place like home.
  • Where did the 49ers make their hay? The middle of the field. And while Vernon Davis and Anquan Boldin may have made enough hay to feed every warhorse, nag, and cow in Westeros, the Packers were missing Morgan Burnett and Casey Hayward who both happen to play in the middle of the field.
  • Hey, at least the run was stopped.
  • I had an amazing wild-rice bratwurst during the game. Then I had another.
  • The Packers went on the road, in the first game, against arguably the best team in football, turned the ball over twice, were the victims of the refs handing the 49ers another down which led to a touchdown, and still only lost by six points. If you can't see the positive in that, I think you should just crawl deeper into the cave you dwell in with your precious and keep playing riddles in the dark.
  • Clay Matthews was all over the field...maybe slightly too all over the field...but outside of the momentary lapse of reason, he looked like the dominant defender he is. He was fired up, and I think he is single-handely trying to shed the "soft" label.
  • The next game is at Lambeau Field. That is an incredibly positive thing. Plus, the Packers get to get right against the Washington Team Who Shall Not Be Named. (Seriously, how the !#$% do they still have the name that they do? Come on, NFL.)
  • Despite making errors, that directly affected the game, Jermichael Finley and Eddie Lacy both came back and made plays. You gotta have a short memory.
  • What were talking about?
  • Cheer up. You got to watch the best game of the week, and it is football season again.
  • No injuries. No injuries. No injuries.
  • The Lions and Bears are in first place, and there is nothing more fun than knocking those teams out of first place...unless maybe it's the Vikings, but that won't be a problem this year.
Keep your head up and out of your Cheerios, folks.


  1. A_Lerxst_in_PackerlandSeptember 12, 2013 at 6:38 AM

    I felt surprisingly upbeat after the game, myself. There were a lot of positives as you have noted.

    Also, I'm overwhelmed by the number of awesome references in this post - well done!

  2. I have to agree with Mr. Lerxst here. Let's see what happens Sunday.


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