Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Joe Friday Would Be Proud

Yesterday, Josh Sitton caused a stir with some of his inflammatory comments about the Detroit Lions. In my opinion, these statements are about as inflammatory as a wet book of matches. This is just one more example of “the media” taking someone’s comments, comments stemming from a much larger conversation, out of context and rearranging them in such a way as to condemn the subject. Taken out of context, *maybe* these comments are somewhat inciting, but added to full the discussion Josh had on the radio program, they may not be. Robert and I obtained the full transcript from Josh’s discussion, and we thought it would be important to share with you to provide you, our loyal four readers, with the full picture. Hopefully, this allows you a more to draw more informed conclusions on whether this should be considered bulletin board material.

Radio personality A: “You’ve got to make the trip to Detroit on Thursday, Josh. Are you looking forward to your trip across Lake Michigan?”

Josh Sitton: “Lake Michigan? Well, I’m a fisherman, so I like lakes. You know what is an impressive lake? Lake Superior. It is the largest of the Great Lakes, and the largest lake by volume in North America. As far as surface area, it is the largest in the world. I gotta get up there and catch some take trout sometime.”

Radio personality B: “Interesting. What else do you know about bodies of water, Josh?”

Josh Sitton: “Umm, you know, I also know a fair amount about rivers. The Nile is obviously the longest river in the world, but the Amazon, which is the second longest, has a much larger waterflow. As far as the U.S., many people think the Mississippi is the longest, but it’s actually the Missouri River that holds that title and is a tributary of the Mississippi.”

Radio personality B: “Did you know Thanksgiving Day is Thursday, and the time you played on Thanksgiving was in 2011?”

Josh Sitton: “Yes, I did know that. It was November 24th, 2011. Thanksgiving is always the fourth Thursday of November in the U.S. but it is the second Monday of October in Canada. Pretty interesting, no? My favorite Thanksgiving dish is stuffing, and the 2nd is pumpkin pie with homemade whip cream.”

Radio personality C: “You’re playing Detroit on Thanksgiving. What can you tell us about Detroit?”

Josh Sitton: “Detroit is commonly known as ‘The Motor City’ due to its history as being the center of the American automobile industry. Its inception began with Henry Ford’s creation of Ford Motor Company in 1903. Detroit is also known as, ‘Motown’ which is a combination of the words, ‘motor’ and ‘town’ and is a style of soul music that has its origins in Detroit. Berry Gordy formed Motown Records and had some amazing artists signed to his label, such as: Diana Ross & the Supremes, Stevie Wonder, The Jackson 5 and Marvin Gaye. Just really great tunes.”

Radio Personality B: “Man, I love Stevie Wonder. Now, Josh, what’re your thoughts on Aaron Rodgers’ collarbone?”

Josh Sitton: “Well, I can’t speak to his specific clavicle, but all clavicles run between the scapula, or shoulder blade, and the sternum, or chest. Fractures usually occur when someone falls on an extended arm or on their shoulder, which I believe is what occurred in Aaron’s case. Speaking of falls, Angel Falls, in Venezuela, is the highest waterfall in the world. Just another little fact for you guys.”

Radio personality A: “You seem to have a lot of facts stored in that head of yours. Any other facts you can share?”

Josh Sitton: “Like about waterfalls?”

Radio personality A: “Not necessarily about waterfalls or water in general, just any facts…”

Editor’s note: Now here is where Josh begins his initial discussion of Jim Schwartz and the Lions’ defense.

Radio Personality A: “So you think if Aaron Rodgers were playing, the Lions would try to take out Aaron Rodgers?”

Editor’s note: This portion of the discussion is where the certain quoted remarks in question were made. Remarks that were shared across the interwebs and *might* possibly, *maybe* be considered inflammatory. Unfortunately, these were the only remarks that everyone heard, thus, not allowing for the full picture. The conversation continues below.

Radio Personality B: “Yeah, I think everyone would agree that, probably pretty factual.”

Josh Sitton: “Yeah, I really like facts. Just random ones such as: Jim Carrey chipped his tooth many years prior, but he had the cap removed to play Lloyd Christmas in ‘Dumb and Dumber’. Also, despite Harry and Lloyd’s assertion, the Rocky Mountains were created due to tectonic shifts and are made up of metamorphic rock, and are, in fact, quite rocky.”

Radio Personality C: “Well, thanks a lot for your time, Josh, this may get edited down due to time constraints.”

Josh Sitton: “I understand that. Speaking of time, kickoff is at 11:30 Central Standard Time. Did you know that 20 states and 4 Canadian Provinces observe Central Standard in part or in whole? Just another fact for you fellas.”


So, dear reader, after hearing the statements in the proper context, you are better allowed to make your own judgments on Josh Sitton’s comments.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Holding Out for a Hero (The Matt Flynn Tribute, Part 2)

Blast this video as loud as you can. The lyrics will match up with the song. Part 1 can be found here.

Where has Aaron Rodgers gone
With the season on the line?
Can a castoff quarterback
keep playoff hopes alive?
Will you be our green knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night we toss and we turn and we dream of destiny

[Chorus]
WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh for the fight
WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life… larger than life

Sometime midday Thursday
On that crummy Ford Field
I’ll be reaching toward my big screen
To give you the courage that you need
With Lacy as the thunder, will you provide the heat
To be our superman and beat that loser team?

[Chorus]
WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh for the fight
WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight

Across the lake somewhere deep in Michigan
Close to where 8 Mile was filmed
You can bet that Lombardi will be watching over you
Through the crowd and the noise and the turf
Let them feel your approach
With a fire in your blood! With a fire in your blood! With a fire in your blood! With a fire in your blood!
With a fire in your…RAWR!!! KILL!!!

[Chorus]
WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh for the fight
WE NEED A HERO! (Matt Flynn!)
We’re holding on for a hero for Thanksgiving’s fight
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

Monday, November 4, 2013

Great and Possibly Not-So-Great Rivalries

This morning, as I was staring at the leaves in my front yard, a yard that I had just raked yesterday, I started thinking about rivalries. Rivalries like the one I was currently engaged in with my neighbor's maple tree. Unfortunately, the maple tree won this round, but the thing about rivalries is that they are not decided by a single battle, they play out over time, each side taking victories and defeats. Unfortunately, the ranking got a little congested at number two, however, number one was never in doubt.

379) Cowboys vs. Washington D.C. football club (this one is funny)
296) Packers vs. Vikings (only one side views this as a rivalry, the other side thinks it's cute)
178)

2oo.) Nirvana vs. Pearl Jam
2nn.) Switzerland vs. no one
2mm.) Superman vs. Luthor
2ll.) Donner Party vs. mountains
2kk.) Al Czervik vs. Judge Smails
2jj.) Michigan vs. Ohio State
2ii.) Me vs. bratwurst & sauerkraut
2hh.) My dog vs. rabbits
2gg.) Internet vs. productivity (if you're reading this, the internet has won)
2ff.) Jonas Salk vs. polio
2ee.) Kirk vs. Khan
2dd.) Union vs. Confederacy
2cc.) Coke vs. Pepsi
2bb.) Jerry vs. Newman
2aa.) Marie Antoinette vs. guillotine (this may not have been a rivalry, more of a single battle)
2z.) VHS vs. Betamax
2y.) Tallahassee, Rick Grimes, Shaun & Ed vs. zombies
2x.) Celtics vs. Lakers (Bring back the short shorts)
2w.) Mac vs. PC
2v.) Brett Favre vs. Warren Sapp, John Randle, Brian Urlacher (this would have been fair if the latter had all been on the same team)
2u.) The Beatles vs. The Rolling Stones
2t.) Democrats vs. Republicans
2s.) Lance Easley vs. reality
2r.) Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner
2q.) Montagues vs. Capulets
2p.) MacGyver vs. Murdoc
2o.) Mario vs. Bowser
2n.) Don Quixote vs. windmills
2m.) Hatfields vs. McCoys
2l.) Homer vs. Flanders
2k.) Rommel vs. Patton
2j.) George & Marty McFly vs. Biff Tannen
2i.) Moses vs. Ramesses II
2h.) Manchester United vs. Liverpool
2g.) Batman vs. Joker
2f.) Miller Lite vs. Itself (This is the height of advertising, truly a must watch.)
2e.) Ghandi vs. British Empire
2d.) Fried vs. fresh curds
2c.) Nikola Tesla vs. Thomas Edison
2b.) Galactic Empire vs. Rebel Alliance
2a.) Red Sox vs. Yankees

Now that you've seen some of the lesser rivalries in history, you know what it is number one.

1) Packers vs. Bears

Go, Pack, go.

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