Thursday, May 8, 2014

Is It Finally Here? Be Honest With Me.

I realize that Robert and I left you in a lurch following our last post. We didn’t call. We didn’t write…I’m sure you’ve been wondering if we are okay. You can rest assured, we are. Robert and I were at a two month LARP retreat in Rhinelander. Personally, I leveled up to Level 23 Orc Mage, with +17 Destruction Magic. I know you probably want a full recap of our time there, but I’ll save that for another day.

With our extensive network of sources, contacts, spies, and advanced surveillance equipment, we’ve heard a number of rumors indicating that the draft starts this evening. We decided that we would follow up with several anonymous* NFL general managers and scouts. They are all anonymous because, as I understand it, that’s how any information about the draft is shared. I’m not sure why this is, as I was always taught that lying is disreputable, unethical, immoral, and wrong.

Anyway, here’s what we found out:

“Does the draft begin tonight?”

·         “Well, seeing the tape, it looks like it might start tonight, but we’re gonna check in person and make our judgment from there.”
·         “Yes. Never seen a draft start like this. Really impressive. I think it will be a great start tonight. The draft is going to start tonight for a long time in this league.”
·         “No. It’s not tonight. Never was. Tonight as a start time won’t cut it, it’ll be later or earlier, but it for sure isn’t tonight.”
·         “I really enjoy the draft process and determining the start, but we don’t get into specifics about when the draft will start. We think the draft will be good for our team whenever it starts.”
·         “The draft won’t start tonight if it was the only night of the year left to start. Not happening. It’ll be bust if it starts tonight.”
·         “I’ve heard that their owner really wants it start tonight, but the coach and GM are not sold. It’ll be interesting if they start tonight.”
·         “We’ve had a start time set for weeks. We’re ready to start. We’re also open to offers for a different night to start, and we’ve definitely had some conversations about starting at a different time.”
·         “I think if some teams don’t get their start right tonight, they’re losing their jobs.”
·         “They’re going to try to move back their start time, but I really doubt they’ll have any offers.”
·         “Yes, the start time is tonight, but we’re flexible. Start time is a really fluid process, and we’ll just let the start time come to us.”
·         “They really got screwed on starting tonight due to that trade they made last year. They don’t even have a start time until the late second round. Not a way to run a franchise.”

Wow. I'm not sure what to make of all these anonymous opinions on the draft start. I guess it’s best to form your own and just tune in and enjoy the show.

Happy Draft Day, everyone.

*One side note: the Vikings’ source we spoke with wanted to go on the record, and stated, “I really have no clue when the draft is. I’ll need to ask my admin assistant.” Seriously. Neither Robert nor I felt comfortable revealing his name, for the simple reason that we believe he really was telling the truth, and it seemed cruel to announce it to the world.


  1. But what if the Vikings missed a draft pick? What sense would that make?

  2. HA HA is all I have to say. Go Vikes!

  3. If I commented, "Go Vikes!", I would be anonymous too.


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