Thursday, June 25, 2015

He's a Big Fella

After all these years of watching Packers' games in various cities across the county and around the world, I should no longer be surprised when I encounter a group of Packers' fans. Anywhere. Yet sometimes, I still am. This was the case a few weeks ago when I sitting in a hotel bar in some backwater airport. I overheard a conversation between some sales guys who were heading back home to Wisconsin. Maybe it wasn't so much that I had come across fellow Packers fans that surprised me in this instance, but rather, it was their conversation. I tried to recall as much of it as possible, so I could share it with you. Enjoy.

"Me? I'm from Neenah."

"Where the hell is Neenah?"

"Well, it's..."

"Say, do you guys know Jeff Janis?"

"You betcha, I know Jeff Janis. He's a big guy. Goes about 6'3" 220. Loves his hunting."

"Jeff Janis is helluva football player."


(Managed to snap a pic of the salesmen.)
"Did you know I saw Jeff Janis play football in high school?"

"Jeff Janis? He's a big fella, isn't he?"

"Oh, yeah. Goes about 6'5" 245. Runs a 4.1 forty."

"Anyway, in high school, he once looked at the cheerleading squad during a timeout. Rare moment of distraction for Janis. well, the next week, every cheerleader had to go 'visit their grandparents' for the next nine months. Hell, even the two guys had to go."

"Best looking set of babies this side of Lake Michigan."


" did I ever tell you about the time Jeff Janis was about to play both ways and special teams against the Alabama Crimson Tide? So, Saginaw Valley University was scheduled to play Alabama in a non-conference game. Both teams were warming up on the field, and Nick Saban looks over and sees Jeff Janis stretching. Next thing you know, Saban orders every Alabama player back on the bus and told the driver to take them straight to the airport. He didn't even let his players take off their pads."

"Well, if you're talking about Jeff Janis, I believe it."


At this point, these sales guys are on their fifth flight delay and deep into their twelfth pitcher of beer, and the conversation starts getting interesting.

"Say, did I ever tell you about the time Jeff Janis took me bow-hunting? You know, Jeff Janis. He's a big guy."

"Goes about 6'8" 265, runs a six second 100 meter dash, benches 385."

"Right. So, Jeff Janis takes me bow-hunting, and we come across a herd of rhinoceros."

"Wait, wait, wait....a herd of rhinoceros? In Wisconsin?"

"I know, I was as surprised as you, but, you know, it's Jeff Janis...."


"So one of these rhinoceros...rhinoceri? of these big fellas was limping pretty bad, so I thought it might be best to put it out of it's misery. You know what Jeff Janis did? He walked right up to that rhinoceros, looked it in the eye, and then proceeded to clean and bandage the rhino's wound. That rhino still talks about Jeff Janis to this day."


I sat at the bar listening to these guys, knowing full well how the legend of Jeff Janis has grown in some circles of Packers' fandom over the past year. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I jumped in, "Are you talking about Jeff Janis? I KNOW Jeff Janis."



The tales of Jeff Janis' accomplishments, talent, virility, and size (He's a big fella. Last I heard, he went 7'4" 324 and there wasn't a radar gun that could accurately measure his speed) continued for two more flight delays and several more pitchers of beer. Finally, my flight number was called, and I stumbled out of the bar. By this time, I was convinced that Jeff Janis, by himself, was going undefeated next year. "TO JEFF JANIS!"

Once the shine of flat, airport beer wore off, however; it dawned on me that Jeff Janis has an almost impossible task of living up to his own legend, regardless of what that healthy rhinoceros or

...these guys say.

Huh....well, if Quickie is on board, I guess that's good enough for me.


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