Friday, February 17, 2017

Weird Bets or How We Like to Cope With the Offseason

The NFL offseason – a seemingly dreadful abyss of anything of importance other than the Grammy’s. I really thought this was finally going to be Björk’s year.

During the season, we know we can get the best NFL odds on daily matches at William Hill. But for time being, Franklin and I decided to spice things up with a few creative bets to keep our minds occupied. What follows is the exchange that took course over the last week, and to which we’ve both agreed.

Franklin: The over/under on Kleenex boxes in view in the war room is +/- 7.5. I am taking the over and will bet my set of three (3) monogramed Forrest Gregg handkerchiefs. I was told he used these beauties when he would hit up a Friday fish fry at one of the local Supper Clubs.

Robert: If you fail to secure us adequate lodging for a game this year by September 1st, you have to do a book report on Vikings 50: All-Time Greatest Players in Franchise History or Jared Allen Quarterback Killers Cookbook.
"Jared Allen is just as forceful and irreverent in
the woods or kitchen as he is at the line of scrimmage."
Franklin: Ongoing offseason bet: I can eat more sauerkraut in 1 hour than you. Series is all tied up at 8-8-1.

Robert: In a blind taste test on five judges, I’ll bet you my pulled pork wins over yours this summer. Loser has to show off a fake Twilight “Team Edward” tattoo on their calf at training camp and drink beer through a straw.

Franklin: More of a hypothesis, than a wager: Ted Thompson listens to Hall and Oates to prepare for day one of the draft.

Robert: I’m extremely confident they’ll resign Jared Cook. If they don’t, I will subscribe to O, the Oprah Magazine for a year.

Franklin: I’ll bet that I’ll be shocked by no less than four of Ted Thompson’s draft picks. Fairly surprised by two. One I nail spot on. Day-three draft pizza on the line (two toppings only).

Robert: Ok, but if at any time you start live tweeting the draft, you have to mow your lawn in a skirt.

Franklin: Over/Under 36 references to JJ Watt when TJ Watt works out at the Combine. (What’s with these guys not having real names?)

Robert: It’s been said that fashion is art and you are the canvas. If Ted Thompson is seen wearing capris this summer, you have to wear a Najeh Davenport jersey to work for a day.

Franklin: I'll bet you my llama for your sledgehammer that I can throw this football over them mountains.
We ask our close friends and readers to hold us accountable for consequences, and to keep a close eye on Ted Thompson’s legging choices this summer. How do you spend the offseason? Let us know of any creative bets in the comments.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Google requires us to state we use third-party advertising, who may use information (not including your name, address, email, or phone) about your visits to provide ads of possible interest. For more information or to opt out, click here.
To contact us or to advertise, email packerranter {at} yahoo.com